I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
