why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
