what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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