Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
