He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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