I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
