Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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