I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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