Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
