how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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