I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
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i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
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He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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