you would pick up someone in the library
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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