that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
