Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize