In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
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He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
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God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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