so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
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