I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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