I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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