I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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