I am puke
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize