A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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