Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
