Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
