i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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