I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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