ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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