Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
