Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
