we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
