if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
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Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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