Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you win again, gameday.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
