Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
