Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
