Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
