I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
