so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
