New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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