Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
