Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm passing your future prison.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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