my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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