Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
When did angry sex become our thing?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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