I think I am morally bankrupt
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
