he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
