She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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