is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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