My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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