oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
