he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
