I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
