I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
