One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
