Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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