you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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