what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
