He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
