I looked at my own cervix.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
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The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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