Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
