THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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