There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
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