so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
